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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?